Show it to a kid – Part 2: Practical improvements

I got a little side-tracked last week with the pre-order launch for Heads! so didn’t get round to finishing these follow up examples ready. As part two of this blog piece I wanted to give a few more examples of how I have tested my visual storytelling techniques and made changes to my comics accordingly. My eleven year old son is really good at helping me with this – kids in general are, and I explain more about this in the previous blog. Here are a couple more pages he’s ‘read’ and how his interpretation has led to improved panels.

02-heads-vs-blog

This is a page from Heads! where I wanted to use the imagery of changing gears in a car to represent part of the plot accelerating. The previous page has fewer, larger panels and shows the characters casually talking in the moving car. When I showed my son the scene, he said the first page was people talking about something important in a car. He reached this page, hesitated and then said that ‘everything sped up’. The rest of the pages in the scene felt more urgent to him after that, which was what I’d hoped the result would be.

Get a copy of Heads! to see for yourself.

01-rip-vs-blog

In this page from Rock In Purgatory, a snow leopard creeps through a las Vegas hotel to find its way to a concert stage before it attacks. The text and dialogue bare no relation to this, which I intended in order to draw less attention to it and make it feel more surprising. In the original layout for the page I had not referenced the snow leopard as much. When my son read the strip, he felt that the snow leopard seemed to come out of nowhere – not in a sinister way, but in a nonsensical one! The preceding page ends with a frame of the snow leopard in a cage with the lock open, which I reminded him of. Though it helped him feel more content with the strip, I realised that I wouldn’t be there to point this out to every reader. If my son was missing the point, likely most readers will. So, I added the snow leopard in just a little bit more and showed his journey through the hotel. The final page felt concise but accurate, and my son thought the silhouette of the beast added suspense – which suited me just fine.

Get a copy of Rock In Purgatory to see for yourself.

As we all know, proof reading a final piece is so valuable. I’ve learned that a visual storytelling proof read of a comic can be of massive benefit, and kids are great to do this with. Plus, they are usually a bit more blunt than friends or family may be, which is exactly what we need to make us, as comic creators, realise that something isn’t working and to find a way to make it better.

Had good experiences like this yourself? Let me know in the comments below.