Why create?

Ok, so, first post in nearly a year. The site has seen new content going up but I stopped the blog as it wasn’t getting as many readers as other content was. But, considering the utter shitshow we are currently living in I thought I may as well have another go. I was contemplating video posts – which I likely will venture into again – but my awesome friend Claire-Marie tweeted to say that if I blogged it may inspire her to get on with blogging again herself, so I see this as a fair trade. Go see what she has to say over at cmls.world.

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Now is a time when entertainment can be such a huge thing for so may people. We’re all stuck in our homes or with restricted access to places. Some of us are working front line jobs and are stressed and running risks. We need something to alleviate our frustrations and concerns whenever we can.

I used to work in the TV and music industry. It was fun work, authoring DVDs, editing music videos and working on movie releases. I really enjoyed the work (a spectacular combo of creative and technical that really suited me) but the people and the industry started to grate on me. There were a lot of superficial people I had to endure, people who had high opinions of themselves and would make unrealistic demands, only to blame everyone else for any failures. It wore me down, started to take the enjoyment out of the skillful part I loved.

My other half is a nurse. She trained up shortly after we met 12 years ago. While I was dicking about with video edits she was working with cancer patients, helping people in stressful acute assessment wards and eventually ended up as an ICU nurse, helping to save lives in critical care. Coming home from work each day we’d trade stories of the challenges we faced. It didn’t take long for my ‘challenges’ to seem pointless when held up to hers.

I remember very clearly coming home one day and having a bit of an existential breakdown at her. I’d spent all day being harassed by Rihanna’s label to get a video exclusive ready for its 8pm premier. It was a stressful day with all manner of label bosses and video staff shouting and hollering at each other. All so that a video could be ready for 8pm. What did it matter? It was a Rihanna video for fuck sake! The album was gonna sell shed-loads regardless, so did it really matter if the premier was an hour late, or a day late?

She turned to me and explained that it did. It was really important that it went out on time. Because somewhere, there may be a person sitting in a hospital bed in a bad way. Physically and emotionally spent. Now, what if that person was a massive Rihanna fan? What if they had spent a shitty, awful day just looking forward to seeing that exclusive video premier? What if that was the only good thing that person has today?

It made me re-evaluate everything. I’d never though of the output of my work in this way – I’d become jaded and could only see it as a means for other people to get rich. But that feeling when you personally connect with something creative is individual and unlike anything else. Doesn’t matter if that’s Rihanna, Game Of Thrones, Batman – if you connect with it then its important.

So I’m gonna blog when I can, cos it will be a creative outlet for me and cos someone might get some enjoyment in my ramblings. I’m gonna post progress on my art and comics cos I’m proud of them, cos creating them makes me feel alive and cos somewhere, someone might just be hoping to see the kind of thing I do and get some pleasure from it. I’m gonna finish the final issue of Heads! this year cos I’ve loved creating it and cos I think there might be a few of you out there who are about as excited as me to see how it ends.

See you along the way…cheers for reading.